SOMEBODY'S DAUGHER AND INTERNET ETHICS

Beloved Brother in Christ,

“…the word of the LORD came to me: 17 "Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. 18 When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. 19 But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.
20 "Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. 21 But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself."

(Ezekiel 3:16b – 21)



It is my fervent prayer you will take the time to prayerfully consider my message to you today. I have been held to give an account. I’ve been admonished and rebuked about being a hypocrite. I have a confession to make…. I’ve had an eye-opening week this past week that has convicted me on some points I feel compelled to share with you – as a way of warning from the wall.

There seems to be such an attack on marriages through 'little ole' innocent FACEBOOK'. Satan is prowling and saw an opportunity to invite men (and women) to do what they otherwise would never think of - befriending and sharing personal information with a member of the opposite sex without their spouse being present or privy.

We are tempted to think, “Because it's not 'real', God's boundaries and wisdom does not apply here.” But men and women – even professing Christian men and women - are getting lured into inappropriate relationships through this social networking site. With the progressive nature of sin, it begins with dismissing God’s wisdom of boundaries with members of the opposite gender and can quickly lead to emotional infidelity and even further on to virtual and actual sexual infidelity. Christian witness is ruined…. The integrity of the professing Church is tarnished…. The sanctity of marriage is sacrificed. Families with children are being decimated.

I believe many Christians have bought the lie from the pit that tells us to 'mind our own business' and that we are not our brother's keeper. We don't see ourselves as the very vessel God uses to make the better hour. We are too timid and cold. We are too self-absorbed and too 'clean' to want to bother and get messy and risk offending. This is sin. Sin! Is it not better to err in action rather than in passivity? Not that we are busy-bodies or self-elated, but where God has providentially brought something to our attention that is obviously serious we pray and do what we can to help.

As I indicated earlier, I’ve become aware of several infidelities this week and the problem of pornography within a professing Christian home. (Pastor Kelly rightly says, “Profession is not necessarily possession.” AMEN! Look up Matthew 7:21 – and these were men who at least did godly things.) With all but one, FACEBOOK seems to be the greatest common denominator (aside from being a professing Christian) in coddling and feeding this sin. This prompted me to wonder how this could be? How could we get so lackadaisical about our relationships and guarding our marriage vows and the marriage bed? How is it we know we are not to be alone with a man – if you’re a woman, or alone with a woman – if you are a man in real life, but its okay to do so on the Internet?

Here's how: We’ve despised the wisdom of the Lord. We’ve entered into a form of PRACTICAL ATHEISM – the living of our life without regard to God’s Word and ways…living as if He has nothing to say. (Psalm 10:4-6, 11)

“In his pride the wicked does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
5 His ways are always prosperous;
he is haughty and your laws are far from him;
he sneers at all his enemies.
6 He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me;
I'll always be happy and never have trouble."
11 He says to himself, "God has forgotten;
he covers his face and never sees."

THIS IS HOW THE ATHEIST FUNCTIONS! HENCE, PRACTICAL ATHEISM.

For the professing Christian, there is not one moment of our time or effort where Jesus Christ is not to be KING. He is our Sovereign ruler. He is our LORD. He is Lord of our thoughts, Lord of our time, Lord of our relationships, and Lord of our deeds, Lord of our body. We do not have the option of carving out a portion of our life where He does not rule…to believe otherwise is a deadly seduction.

Because I’m not a person who believes in coincidence but believes in divine providence, having several marital infidelities brought to my attention within a matter of days - with the common denominator of

1.) Christian profession,
2.) Pornography participation
3.) and FACEOOK emotional and sexual infidelities

- - I’ve confronted my husband to see if the Lord was trying to tell me something.

God sure was!

Kurt assures me he does not view pornography; either on print, in life as at Hooters or so-called ‘gentlemen clubs’ or on the Internet. Per my request when our sons were little, he even turns away when the pornography of Victoria’s Secret commercials slither on the television screen. Further, he doesn’t want, or have time for, social networking online, he has a glass door on his office since he is in management and wants to be above reproach when women come into his office to speak. He has established business boundaries where he will not go to lunch with a woman co-worker without a group of witnesses. He is willing to be held accountable to an Internet accountability service such as COVENANT EYES and have them send the documentations to me. Perhaps most telling, he is not intimidated to give an account in the dreaded ‘chair’ in my dad’s office; my dad is a private investigator and a licensed renowned polygrapher for sex offenders and perverts. I believe him. I sooooooooooooo respect the man he is!

After answering my many questions, he admitted keeping upright and above reproach is an exhausting effort. Images are everywhere. Malls. Churches. The workplace.. Friend’s homes. Television. Movies. Sports magazines. Sales circulars. Satan has his foothold everywhere through the enticing of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Many don’t respect the effort to be a man of integrity, if you take this stance, you’ll be faced with ridicule and mocking. The road is narrow and few there be who travel it.

I asked him why he thought the Lord was bringing this circumstance to my porch. By the grace of God alone, we are not presently trapped in sexual sin. Why is God bringing this to me? Why now?

Kurt suggested God has been preparing me as a Shepherd for years and this must be a part of the need of the flock. Teaching bible studies, teaching homeschooling mom’s worldview and philosophy classes and discipling women; these are real needs within the people I minister to.

I told him I was going to write a letter like this exhorting professing Christian men to ruthlessly guard their heart from inappropriate attachments. Friendships with women other than their wife are OFF LIMITS. That’s when he said it…. That’s when I knew God was trying to tell me something. Not something about my husband, but something about me! Kurt told me I couldn’t write a letter like this because I was a hypocrite!

You see, I got a FACEBOOK page because I wanted to keep track of, and monitor our sons and the friends they allowed ‘in’. I told them I wanted to be able to get to know the kids they allowed into their circle of friends and give them guidance on how to guard their personal witness. Basically - - - I spy. I’ve even rebuked their 'friends' a couple of times because I’ve covenanted with these people through church membership.

I invited our Youth Pastor to be my ‘friend’ because he has such a heavy responsibility at our church and I wanted to ‘get to know him better’ by what he wrote about. (You can tell quite a lot about someone by what they think is important enough to make public and write about. By the way, narcissism is rampant in the Church! Twaddle, self-promotion, self-obsession I will dare to call sin. The Apostle Paul would probably have a FACEBOOK to encourage the cross-centered life and share the gospel with the lost.)

This inviting of the Youth Pastor to be my FACEBOOK friend was the hiss of the snake and the slippery slope (CH Spurgeon) for me. He did nothing wrong, I did. I fell into the delusion that inviting a man to be ‘my friend’ on FACEBOOK was not a danger or a threat to my marriage or the Church because he is an upright man who loves the Lord. But it was. Allow me to explain:

As a married Christian woman, I have absolutely NO business being friends with men online; not for any reason – even men I believe to be ‘safe’ like Pastors or the husbands of my friends.
Kurt rightly called me a hypocrite because I was wanting to write a letter of exhortation to the men I know on FACEBOOK warning them of the threat of emotional affairs and even sexual affairs through this social networking vehicle. However, my participation in having men as 'friends' on FACEBOOK legitimized this practice and gave the impression it is okay for someone who has a heart for God, for her husband, and for TRUTH and integrity. This is false. It is not okay. It is playing with fire and setting up a stunbling block for those less spiritually mature.

I’ve listened. I heartily agree.

Please forgive me for not guarding my testimony as the Lord’s vessel online. I got a FACEBOOK page to monitor my boys and their ‘friends’ and then I became convicted to use it as an opportunity to preach and teach. I will still use it to monitor the character of those my children interact with. Youth - of both genders. I will still use it to preach and teach truths; but I hereby must DEFRIEND you out of my love for my High King, out of my love for my precious husband, out of my love for our sons, out of my love for the Body of Christ, and out of my desire to be blameless in the stumbling of another.

I encourage you to DEFRIEND your friends of the opposite sex on FACEBOOK (or any other social networking system). Guard your heart and affections. Guard your mind. Guard your marriage. Your spouse is your best friend and gift from God this side of the cross and, although we can be friendly with others, it must always be within the context of our covenant marital relationship. Satan is seeking to kill and destroy and we’ve let our guard down making it easy for him. We are all too easy prey.

If I contact you by e-mail, you can be sure I will send a carbon copy to my husband so he knows my encounters with men other than himself. I will copy your wife as well. If you must e-mail me, please do not e-mail me directly but go through my husband at kgrier@ebycorp.com. He is my priest, my prophet, my provider, and my protector. If ever you see something that concerns you about my walk, please don’t hesitate to contact him.


CHRISTIAN INTERNET CODE OF ETHICS
by http://www.haznet.com/ethics/

As a Christian who is active on the internet, I hold myself to certain standards of conduct. They are:

I guard my online relationships. I recognize that attachments develop as easily on the Internet as anywhere else, and sometimes more easily because of the anonymity involved in initial exchanges.

I particularly guard against relationships that encroach upon the level of trust and faithfulness that is to exist only within a husband/wife relationship.

I am careful to visit websites that do not compromise my life in Christ. I am aware that there are sites on the internet that Christians must avoid, including those that contain pornography. I do not visit such sites, even out of curiosity. When, by accident (and it happens to everyone), I find such a page loading, I leave it immediately.

I take care that my written communications reflect Christ in my life. Even on issues about which I feel passionate, I avoid saying things that I feel might be displeasing to the Lord. I represent myself, and my intentions in a truthful and upright manner in all my exchanges.

I guard my time to assure that my time online is kept in proper balance with the rest of my life. I realize that the internet can consume time that should be invested elsewhere: family, church, work responsibilities, and other activities that make for a well rounded life. I especially guard against spending time on the internet that should be spent with the Lord.


********

Here are a couple of the ministries I shared with a woman this week who is suffering tremendous harm and pain from her husband’s use of pornography, his emotional infidelity, and his marital treason via the Internet.


One such resource is Pure Life Ministries. You must do yourself a favor and read their history page. Powerful example of vision and DOING.

Here is their homepage. Wealth of resources and wisdom.

http://www.purelifeministries.org/index.cfm


Here is their promo on Tangle (formerly GodTube).




I AM A FAN OF CROSSTV's teachings called WordPictures. They have a DVD specifically that deals with a Christian being victorious over habitual sin. It's called HABITUAL SIN. Here is the description of the teaching:

"Beer. Porn magazines. The &*^%$# word. Old habits die hard. And there are entire industries that thrive on the bondage of the habitual sins that millions of people - including many Christians - remain in. Steve Gallagher of Pure Life Ministries knows the destruction of habitual sin first-hand. His ministry and this message are based on the processes the Bible spells out in order to be free from the bondage of sin. A humbling but encouraging program for anyone who is ready to take the necessary steps. Interlaced with actual testimonies from real people who once struggled with specific sins.
Presented by: Steve Gallagher"

It is $24.95 in DVD form.

http://www.crosstv.com/GuestTeachers.htm

This would be a great resource for the repentant professor in Christ. This is not a WordPicture I have...yet.



There is a new documentary out on the subject of professing Christians trapped in the sin of pornography. It is titled: SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTER. I've lent it to Pastor Kelly. It is a powerful telling of the devastation of this sin. Several men featured are all in church ministry. Two Pastors, one Sunday school teacher, and one worship leader. The married couple will break your heart and soften you to the brokenness of a 'pervert'. I never imagined I could feel mercy for a sexual predator and a funder of sex slavery and the objectification of women, but his grief and his wife's grief softened my heart towards him as a broken, repentant adulterer-at-heart.

I encourage you to get this. Family Christian bookstore has it. I may have purchased the last copy on the west-side. My mom was with me when I purchased it after Christmas at the after Christmas sale. She was troubled why I was buying it. Thought it was odd. Frankly, I thought it was odd. We don't have this problem, but for months I felt the Lord had been prompting me to buy that DVD. For some reason. To have it on hand in case anyone I knew needed to watch it. Oh the providence of God! I just purchased a second copy to have on hand when one is being lent out.

I purchased it and watched it that day. I wept and wept. You will too.


SOMEBODY’S DAUGHER TRAILER:





AN INTERVIEW WITH THE PRODUCER OF SOMEBODY’S DAUGHER:





There is a booklet of facts and lyrics on the documentary. About the sin of porn and the victims of pornography. The sex industry in America makes more money (Internet sex isn't free!) than the NFL, NBA, and another professional sporting industry put together. People involved are funding an industry that exploits and victimizes women and even children. People involved are funding this industry to pay for the kidnapping of people and enslaving them as sex slaves. Sex slavery is alive and well in America!

Here is the SOMEBODY'S DAUGHER website link:

http://www.somebodysdaughter.org/


They have a study guide/discussion guide that augments the DVD. It is $20.00

https://secure2.tallent.com/music/store/store.aspx


It was produced by musicforthesoul:

http://www.musicforthesoul.org/somebodys.html

https://www.visionvideo.com/pdf/SomebodysDaughterInsert.pdf



An Internet accountability service called Covenant Eyes will track all activity on the Internet and send a copy of the report (every site visited/every pop-up tracked) to the spouse. Lying and half-truths are insidious with porn.... The darkness must be brought out to light. Secrets only feed the sin. Ephesians 5:11 says, "Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them."

http://www.covenanteyes.com/?promocode=37204mfs


“How does Internet Accountability work?

Covenant Eyes software monitors a person's Internet use and emails a report of all websites visited for Accountability Partners to view. Accountability Partners are trusted individuals selected by the member to review reports and discuss how the Internet is used. Reports are emailed to the Partner or viewed online from our Member Center.”



I know this has been long. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I pray you will take this to heart and act to protect your marriage and the purity and integrity of the body of Christ. Though you are precious, you are effectively DEFRIENDED.


Serving His Kingdom Here and Now ~

Jilly Grier

DEEP MONDAY's Week 10

"Try Giving Your Employer (or your teacher) What You Give God And
See How Long You Last."

~ Paul Washer ~
HeartCry Missionary Society

DEEP Girls,

As you know, we've begun our simplified and swift inductive overview of James' letter to the Bride of Christ.

You are to be reading through the five chapters of James each week, and this particular week examine a cluster of verses on the same topic in Chapter 2. For example, chapter 2 deals with the topics of favortism and faith without deeds is dead. Choose a topic and do a simplified inductive study on it. Key verse. Key words. Interpret. Apply. Remember to use www.BibleGateway.com, your concordance, and a bible dictionary. Please come prepared Monday to discuss what God taught you through His Word this week and some of your 'I Will' statements. Bring your filled out study chart.

ALSO:

Take time before Monday to watch this YouTube clip on why it is important to study the bible objectively - not subjectively. This past Monday I made a shocking statement to some of you - it is not 'what this passage means to me/you', but 'what is God actually saying in this passage?' This below YouTube clip will help to explain my statement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clh5-7V8IVA

Because our time in James needs to be swift, I will be sending you e-handouts that will help to augment the neglected content of each chapter of James. For example: James 1:27 is the last verse in James 1. It ends with a profound statement overlooked and understudied in today's Youth Culture - even in otherwise well-meaning, bible teaching Youth programs. "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO KEEP ONESELF UNSTAINED FROM THE WORLD?


If we were afforded the luxury of really studying James for all it's worth, we could reasonably spend weeks on this portion of verse 27 alone!

"Worldliness is destroying the church of Jesus Christ. The time is thus right for us to biblically expose and condemn worldliness, and to promote the alternatives of genuine piety and holiness."

~ Joel Beeke ~
www.http://www.gracegems.org/wor.htm

This above (gracegems) website offers you a treasure of information on what it means to be stained by the world, or worldly. I highly recommend you spend some time reading these doctrinal (teaching) jewels.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from this site:

There is a common worldly kind of Christianity in this day,

which many have, and think they have enough.

This cheap Christianity . . .

offends nobody,

requires no sacrifice,

costs nothing,

and is worth - - nothing!

~ JC Ryle ~
Holiness

A Worldly Christianity?

(by Octavius Winslow, "Morning Thoughts")

"Do not be conformed to this world." Romans 12:2

"Professor of the gospel! guard against the world; it is your undoing! Watch against conformity to it . . . in your dress, in your mode of living, in the education of your children, in the principles, motives, and policy that govern you.

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit by . . . any known inconsistency of conduct, any sinful conformity to the world, any inordinate pursuit of . . . its wealth, its honors, its pleasures, its friendships, and its great things.

Pray against the sin of covetousness, that canker worm that feeds at the root of so many souls!

Pray against the love of dress, that sin that diverts the mind of so many professors from the simplicity of Christ, and takes the eye off from the true adornment!

Pray against a thirst for light and trifling reading, that strange and sinful inconsistency of so many, the certain tendency of which is to starve the life of God in the soul, to engender a distaste for spiritual nourishment, for the Word of God, for holy meditation, and for Divine communion and fellowship. Yes, pray against the spirit of worldly, sinful conformity in everything!

Reader! are you a professing Christian? Then guard against a worldly Christianity—a Christianity that wears a fair exterior, so far as it is composed of church attendance, but which excludes from it the cross of the meek and lowly Lamb of God—a Christianity which loves the world and the things of the world, "makes a fair show in the flesh," speaks well of Christ, and yet betrays Him with a kiss. Oh, awful state! oh, fearful deception! oh, fatal delusion!

The world is the sworn enemy of your Savior; let it not be your friend. No; come out of it, and be separate."
(end)


Is the Lord bringing to mind some of your own worldliness? Is the Lord pricking your conscience as to some worldly associations and friendships you continue to seek out, spend time with, and savor? Come to class Monday prepared to talk about worldliness.


TITUS 2:11-13 esv
11For(A) the grace of God(B) has appeared, bringing salvation(C) for all people, 12training us to renounce ungodliness and(D) worldly passions, and(E) to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in(F) the present age, 13(G) waiting for our blessed(H) hope, the(I) appearing of the glory of our great(J) God and Savior Jesus Christ,


Persevere girls!


Serving His Kingdom Here and Now ~

Now A Vision Forum Affiliate

I am presently teaching a 'teen' girl's bible study on Monday evenings. Mainly girls from our church. I've been impressed, and I've been discouraged doing this. Impressed because some of the girls are so hungry to know God and to know and apply His truth. Discouraged because many more want to come if it is 'short and sweet' which means simple. We started out with over 20 girls. We looked at the reality of false converts - especially in well-meaning Southern Baptist Churches. We spent 8 weeks examining our profession of faith using I John and other marks of having the new birth. In that time, we dropped from 20+ to a handful of girls. Now we are introducing the process of Inductive Bible Study using the Letter of James.... I had wanted to hover spend many, many weeks so we could explore the topics of purity, worldliness, faith and deeds - a very needful for these girls. Lord willing, I will have this opportunity with the remaining girls as the girls who approached me to do this will be leaving at Spring Break to do another girls bible study.

I'm attaching a great article on worldliness from FamilyReformation.org

When Worldliness Is Next to Godliness (from Family Reformation www.familyreformation.org)

by Selah Helms

My teenagers’ peers often discuss the movie Bruce Almighty, the rock groups Switchfoot and Evanescence, country music, sexy actors, and personal appearance. In these cultural elements, young people seem to live, move, and have their being. In fact, my own teenagers tell me that hardly anyone they know listens to anything but rock and country music. All this occurs among some of the most conservative Christians in the most conservative churches.

Although I am past forty, I remember what my peers and I once talked about. Yes, there were kids who were “into” appearance, culture, and popularity, but I could still find plenty who weren’t. Not so long ago, the youth who attended church together kept each other accountable for memorizing Scripture, sang hymns and visited in nursing homes, witnessed to passersby at community colleges or parks, and handed out tracts. However, today these activities are passé even in many conservative churches. They are also absent from the desires of many “Christian” teenagers. Over the past ten or twenty years, as the controversy over rock music in the church has largely died down, its prevalence has exploded to the point that few now even question whether any type of music could be harmful to our spiritual well-being.

The reasons why pop culture has so possessed our teenagers could fill volumes, as could the reasons for such differing views on what our Christian liberty permits. Rather than laying down a list of rules that would only invite argument, we’ll look at general principles that will guide us in shepherding our teenagers’ hearts as they interact with a decaying culture. In order to do this, we must step outside our culture and look at it as objectively as possible.

First, we must recognize that our society reeks of relativism when it comes to cultural judgments. Perhaps at no time in history before the Sixties generation did relativism so dominate the cultural conversation as it does today. If a work of art touches me in some way, then it must be pretty. If a piece of music “blesses” me, then it must be good music. If I don’t think I’m being harmed by what I see on screen, then the movie must be acceptable. Notice that in all these evaluations I am the point of reference, rather than an objective standard of truth or beauty.

Setting self as the standard for cultural judgments paves the way for decadence. As Ken Myers says, “As Christians, we insist that there are permanent standards for culture. Culture is the human effort to give structure to life. But human nature does not exist as a law unto itself” (All God’s Children and Blue Suede Shoes). Sadly, many Christians have abandoned their responsibility to fight cultural relativism and have fallen prey to their subjective views.

The ancients understood this concept better than we do. Aristotle believed that the purpose of education is to teach the student what he should like and what he should dislike. Such an education must teach what is beautiful and virtuous as well as what is ugly and evil in art, literature, and music. An Aristotelian view assumes the existence of standards of goodness and beauty beyond our own judgment:

[I]n rhythms and tunes there are likenesses particularly close to the genuine natures of anger and gentleness, and further of courage and moderation . . . and of the other things pertaining to character. This is clear from the facts: we are altered in soul when we listen to such things . (Aristotle, The Politics)

To paraphrase, good music—even apart from its lyrics—influences a person for good; bad music—even if its lyrics are good—influences him for evil. Plato’s Republic suggests this as well:

Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul, on which they mightily fasten, imparting grace, and making the soul of him who is rightly educated graceful, or of him who is ill-educated ungraceful.

Plato thus taught that examining the music of a given individual or culture reveals spiritual temperature.

In contrast, most Christians today subscribe to the relativistic idea that music is amoral, with no inherent good or evil in tempo or combination of notes, only in lyrics. Hence the oxymoron: “Christian rap” or “Christian hip-hop.” Our inconsistencies betray us. Since most of us still believe that books can be anti-Christian and that a picture can be pornographic, why can’t we see that music itself is an art form, suggesting attitudes and bringing either good or evil to our souls? Can music that exudes emotions of violence and rebellion link arms with the Christian message?

Peter Kreeft, speaking to a modern college student through a Socratic character, says, “If music is a divine thing, it can become a demonic thing. It seems to me that you do an injustice and irreverence to the greatness of music by not allowing that it can ever be evil” (The Best Things in Life). Many cultures throughout history have believed that music bypasses the brain and speaks directly to the heart, shaping and molding emotions of gratitude or arrogance, gentleness or violence.

We must also realize the addictive nature of pop culture. Our world of instant gratification tells teenagers to have their fun and have it now. When I am hooked on sugar and refined foods, I gradually tend to want more and more of them and less and less of healthy foods. Vegetables and wholesome foods begin to appear bland and boring, and a few sweets lead to a sweet tooth. In contrast, when I abstain from sugar, real foods seem perfectly appealing. Junk food thus dulls our appetites to the pleasure of quality nourishment. The same happens in cultural exposure. Too much junk culture makes quality art and music seem dull and boring. Classical culture requires something of us: it requires us to grow. We must thus exert ourselves to enjoy it by avoiding cultural junk that destroys our appetites for quality alternatives and by focusing on the superior flavor of the genuinely beautiful, pure, and true.

Ken Myers lists the distinctions between pop culture and healthy culture this way:

Popular culture focuses on the new, discourages reflection, [is] pursued casually to “kill” time, gives us what we want, tells us what we already know, celebrates fame, appeals to sentimentality, relies on spectacle, tend[s] to violence and prurience, leaves us where it found us, reflects the desires of the self, tends toward relativism, [is] used. Healthy culture (traditional, high culture) by contrast, focuses on the timeless, encourages reflection, [is] pursued with deliberation, offers us what we could not have imagined, celebrates ability, appeals to appropriate, proportioned emotions, relies on formal dynamics and the power of symbol, transforms sensibilities, encourages understanding of others, tends toward submission to standards, [is] received.

Allan Bloom, professor at the University of Chicago, compares consumption of pop culture to drug addiction: “[Rock music] ruins the imagination of young people and makes it very difficult for them to have a passionate relationship to the art and thought that are the substance of liberal [arts] education” (The Closing of the American Mind). According to Bloom, rock music is like a drug that repeatedly induces an artificial emotional high until the burnt-out student finds it difficult to be enthusiastic or excited about life’s genuine pleasures. “Their energy is sapped, and they do not expect their life’s activity to produce anything but a living.” So, overdosed on pop culture, young people become jaded, losing the ability to enjoy life’s simple and wholesome pleasures.

Finally, and most importantly, Christians need to consider the true purpose of Christian liberty. Paul says that many things may be permissible, but not everything is constructive or beneficial (I Corinthians 6:12). Christians who fear legalism go to great lengths to enjoy their liberty, sometimes to the point of crossing boundaries and thereby damaging rather than edifying their spiritual lives. We must remember the Lord’s injunction: “Only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13b, NKJV). God gives us Christian liberty in order to free us to serve the cause of Christ. If a “liberty” causes us to be more worldly and shallow, less ministry-oriented, less heavenly minded, we have missed the boat.

Here, we find a good standard by which to measure our movies and music: does the work inspire an intense yearning for love, humility, submission, holiness, gentleness, and spiritual vitality? Does it make rebellion appear “cool” or repulsive? When we watched The Lord of the Rings as a family, we were challenged to the depths of our emotions to fight evil even when it seemed evil would win and to hold out hope when everything looked hopeless by obediently doing our part in our own life story.

Conversely, when we watched Pirates of the Caribbean, we were struck by the portrayal of a murdering, thieving pirate as a cool, fun guy who would fit perfectly into a teenage social clique. This kind of portrayal subtly wears our spirits down to the point where we minimize wrong and lose our repugnance toward evil. Myers reminds us, “[T]he erosion of character, the spoiling of innocent pleasures, and the cheapening of life itself that often accompany modern popular culture can occur so subtly that we believe nothing has happened.”

Therefore, my husband and I have come up with a checklist for evaluating the effects of popular culture on our teens:

• Does my teenager regard spiritual exercises (reading the Word, going to church) as dull and boring?
• Does my teen talk more about movies and music than spiritual things? Where is his/her heart?
• Does my teen disdain wholesome, simple fun as beneath him/her?
• Does he/she feel that he/she can only be communicated with through certain forms? (E.g., “This is my music. This is what speaks to me.”)
• Does my teen feel that popularity in a crowd that exalts pop culture is a must-have?
• Does the music my teen listens to exhibit irreverence or a casual attitude toward Christianity (not to mention sex or violence)?
• Does my teen disdain high culture in any way?
• Does my teen constantly push the boundaries, trying to go deeper and deeper into pop culture?
• Does pop culture significantly shape the way my teen dresses, acts, and talks?
• Does my teenager find rough, coarse, or rebellious people attractive?

f the answer to more than one or two of these is “yes,” the teenager’s heart has been drawn into the world. A fast from cultural junk food, along with lots of family discussion that prayerfully and intelligently evaluates art forms, can help purify his heart. We can minimize subjective judgment when we distance ourselves enough from the culture to evaluate it. The books quoted in this article can greatly enhance family studies.

Pastor John Piper relates that in his youth, the question many teenagers ask, “What is permissible?” paled, in his own mind, in comparison to the question, “How can I not waste my life?” (Don’t Waste Your Life). Teenagers need a cause beyond themselves to ward off the belief that entertainment and popular culture are the chief ends of life. Our teenagers should—and can be, with the right spiritual direction—consumed with godly cause. Even in this powerfully possessive culture, we can help our teenagers comprehend that their chief end is to glorify and serve God and enjoy Him in wholesome ways.

Selah Helms is a pastor’s wife and homeschooling mother of four. She has co-authored two books (Small Talks on Big Questions, volumes 1 and 2) that teach children the catechism using historical accounts. In a co-op setting, she studies through classic works with several other families.

Resources:

All God’s Children and Blue Suede Shoes by Ken Myers (Crossway, 1989).

The Best Things in Life by Peter Kreeft (InterVarsity Press, 1984).

The Closing of the American Mind by Allan Bloom (Simon & Schuster, 1987).

Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper (Crossway, 2003).

The Politics by Aristotle.

The Republic by Plato.